Diary #002

I am interested to use this space more as a diary on topics that are resonating with me personally. I love that I can get a little deeper than I can on another platforms. It also feels more secretive, more special, like I can really be myself here. I love that it’s not so immediate, but rather something I need to sit down and give myself time to do. This space lends itself well to saying more. Paradoxically, I have been focusing in saying less lately. I’ve spent far less time on social media in the last month or so and it feels really good. I’m not really posting much, on either my art account or personal account, and I’m seeing how that feels. Although I’ve enjoyed interacting with people on social media, I know that I get more out of in-person interactions, especially when it comes to art. Since this is something that I’m craving, this is something I will be cultivating. Making space in my life for art IRL. This means creating and not posting. Creating and sharing with friends. Seeing art in person. Buying art as gifts this holiday season. There are so many ways I can interact with art (and really the world) in person. I don’t always have to be talking about what I’m doing, I can just do it and enjoy the doing. One thing I am noticing is that it’s a little uncomfortable to do things without posting about them. It feels like I am leaving something unfinished. I am exploring that uncomfortability, keeping it light.

Unironically, I pulled the SHIPS card from my Road to Nowhere Oracle Deck today. This card is about sailing to new lands, even if you are unsure of where you are going. Which feels very appropriate during this new moon time and also appropriate for the things I am exploring right now. It is quite radical, in a way, to try something for personal experimentation and significance. Right now, my whole way of being is under examination and up for a little experimentation. Why do I do what I do? What if I tried it another way?

Something so insidious about our social media addictions is that they are habits we formed without being conscious to them. It just all happened this way! With my experimentation, I aim to become aware, conscious, and perhaps to consider alternatives. Alternatives to seemingly constant productivity, consumption, entertainment.

Happy Scorpio New Moon - I embrace the mystery of this time by becoming more mysterious myself. Observant, listening and watching.